Covid19 Brides Talk About
Postponing Their Weddings
Over the last couple of weeks I have received so many messages from bride to be’s who are now being given the title of “Covid19 Brides”. We have never seen so much uncertainty in all our personal lives and the impact it is having on a global level. Planning a wedding can be so stressful but when you throw in the Coronavirus it takes it to a different level!
Too many couples have not had their special day as a result of it all! And some have been affected even more in that they have had to cancel hen parties, stags and their honeymoon – a real double, triple whammy!
In such uncertain times I thought that it might be a nice idea to ask some Covid19 brides to share their stories in a blogpost. If you are in a similar boat or you have come up against this dilemma I asked these wonderful brides to give us their top tips in working through this crisis and postponing their wedding!
If you are in the process of deciding whether to postpone or not the answer won’t be here but what you will read is the stories from real brides who have been in a similiar situation as you so you don’t feel you are doing this alone and you might get some support and tips from them.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by all that’s happening just remember that this is okay! Same as if you are feeling gutted you had to postpone your wedding! This is normal and don’t feel guilty about feeling this way! Just make sure you pick yourself up after a bit and start re-planning one of the most special days of your life.
Covid 19 Bride: Jenny
First up is Jenny, a Covid19 bride who has postponed her wedding until next year (when fingers crossed we will be well out of this)
“We made the decision to postpone our May 22nd 2020 wedding due to Covid19. We now thankfully have a new date in April 2021. Making the decision was the hardest thing to do but we feel it was the right decision to make and making the decision early was important. Once we did make that decision there were two things we done and I think they might help others in our situation.
Firstly, contact your hotel and see what measures they have in place and what options are available or better again ask for a list of available dates if they can give this to you. Our hotel didn’t have a Friday free until October next year so we went with a Thursday.
Secondly, from that list of available dates choose two or three dates you and your partner are happy with. Next contact your wedding suppliers sending them all the same template email with the dates that you and partner have chosen. That way you will have an idea of which and how many suppliers are available on these chosen dates and you can use that to help you decide on which date to go with. For us our band and a few other suppliers were really important to us so we went with what worked best for their availability.
Try not to stress to much about it all your day will come and it will be even better than you dreamed”
PS. Jenny is also a fully qualified yoga teacher is you fancy giving her a follow on Instagram!
Covid19 Bride: Majella
“So we were due to get married Saturday 21st of March 2020. James proposed in December 2018 so I have been planning since then and from London too, I might add. The planning was amazing and we were getting excited for the build-up. We packed up the car and drove to the ferry with the car stacked to the roof with me, James and our 2 1/2 year old, Anna-mae all in the car.
We arrived in Cork exactly a week prior to our wedding. We were only there 4 hours when it all came crumbling down. Our hotel, Vienna Woods were closing their doors. I got straight on to all suppliers and the church. I called the band, flowers, church musicians, photographer, videographer and cake. Luckily, the flowers were just about to be ordered and the cake was about to be started. We grabbed the next available date which is in September.
Next, we contacted our insurance company for those few deposits and payments that we couldn’t get back i.e. the hired tuxes and sadly our band wasn’t available. We were lucky in a sense that most of our suppliers could postpone and hold deposits and it suited our new date.
Oh and invites . Once our insurance company clears all those I’m ordering new ones with our new date and hopefully by then we’ll be in the clear”
Covid19 Bride: Kayla
“Top tip is to accept the postponement – when the schools closed people told me hang on wait another while but I literally could not stop thinking about things. Once we as a couple decided postponing was our best option we decided then what was most important to us. These suppliers might include your church, venue, your band, photographer, hairdresser etc… Contact them and find a date that you like that suits the supplier most important to you, go down through the list and if someone is unavailable for your new date sit with your partner and make a pros & cons list.
By doing this I have had to change my type of ceremony, my band and hairdresser but I will get married in my perfect venue to my partner in-front of our family and friends.
My next tip is don’t look at your dress or your bridesmaids dresses etc. I found the more I looked at them and thought about them waiting another 6 months/12 months to be worn I would be “gone off them”. I deleted all pics and bagged and boxed all my wedding attire and I will not look at them until 1 month before my new date.
I have had a few negative comments re postponing but I’ll take them on the chin, good friends have been amazing even offering to throw us a second hen/stag…
I have to mention the wedding band association aided the new band process so much they have a fantastic system”.
Covid19 Bride: Mary
“So Rick and I got engaged last July 5th in Bath in the UK. We had planned to get married in April. Everything was organised . I was super excited. When this all started in January I never expected we would have to cancel our wedding. Working as a nurse I had a few people say to me that it will all be over before the wedding and then a Doctor said to me, if it were him he would cancel. Then everything happened so fast.
The hotel closed and I knew in my heart I would cancel. I wasn’t too upset to be honest as I knew it was for the greater good. However, I’m now left with invitations having gone out, our wedding date on the ring box, the candy bags for the kids, welcome signs etc.
So my tip to brides is maybe don’t put your date on so many things. I’m glad I didn’t get my wedding ring engraved with the date. We had no problem re-booking everything, the only one I couldn’t re-book was the fab girl that was going to do my makeup but that’s okay. Everyone else was free. I hope our new date will go ahead its Sept 26th 2020.
Also for brides, just imagine how much more grateful we will be on our new day. Xxxx”
Covid19 Bride: Kate
“Myself and Shane were supposed to be getting married in Marbella in Spain on the 28th of May this year and we decided last week that the best thing to do was to postpone the wedding.
We decided to push it out for a full year because we have no idea how long this will go on for and what effect it will have on people.
First we got on to our venue and wedding planner in Spain to check what dates were available for both the venue and church and once we had the date confirmed we got on to all our suppliers to check their availability. Thankfully all were available for our new date and they so kindly were happy to hold onto our deposit for our new date.
At first we were unsure what to do and we were holding out for hope and kept telling ourselves we have time but it became quite clear we had no choice and we wouldn’t be able to fully enjoy our day regardless if some restrictions were lifted.
We were completely devastated initially but since we postponed we do feel a lot of relief now. Although it’s heart-breaking and as much as we were so ready for our wedding, I think there is a lot more serious things happening right now that we should be worried about.
To any future couples unsure of what to do I would say start getting your plan B option in place just in case. Hopefully better times are ahead for all of us and we get through this safe and well. We’re so happy we made the decision now and didn’t hold out any longer and we are now counting down the days to June 3rd 2021.
Stay safe 💕
Kate and Shane”
And what is more Kate is a freelance makeup artist too if you fancy giving her a follow on Instagram
Covid 19 Bride: Siobhan
“All we need is you, me and a man in a dress” this has always been my Fiancée’s go-to line whenever I got worked up about not having the on trend pampas grass/acrylic board table plan/flower wall/donut cart/what-ever-fad. Little did I know that I would need those words of reassurance much more as the wedding date grew near, looked doubtful and ultimately had to be postponed.
When news of the Coronavirus began to break from China in January, we looked on in empathy and sympathised with the poor people that it effected. I even commented on would-be Brides and Grooms – what would they do? However, all too soon we were that would-be Bride and Groom and we faced a horrible decision. In hindsight, we would end up with no choice, but in mid-March Peter and I had to make the heart-breaking decision to postpone our Wedding. At the time, it was a decision, and it felt like the biggest decision of our lives. However, we knew that we could not do this without the most important people in our lives by our side, and therefore a “you, me and a man in a dress” ceremony was discounted. Little did we know that things would be completely taken out of our hands and the health of the nation, indeed, the world would be a much bigger priority.
We are practical, level-headed and good-humoured people. Both of us have faced so much adversity in our lives, that we don’t get caught up in drama or hysteria. We look for the positives and don’t dwell on what could/should have been. So, we cracked open a bottle of wine (or three!!) sat down and made a to-do list. I believe that when things get tough, you can’t beat a logically organised list to keep you on track. I can hear my friends cackle at this – they went to town on me at my hen party for being the ‘organiser’. I’m a teacher, it’s built into my DNA 😊
However, if I was to give one piece of advice to couples in this situation, it would be to make a list – it will save your sanity!
Obviously, first off was the venue. We fell in love with Darver Caste from the minute we saw it back in August 2019 and working with the amazing Anne there has made the organisation of our wedding a breeze. Anne is, hands-down the most brilliant Wedding Co-Ordinator and all round super-star. She takes the difficulty out of everything and from the moment you meet her, you can see that she really cares for her couples. She’s a bit of craic too, so working together with us, we settled on our new date in early January and like a fairy-godmother, Anne waved her magic wand and everything got to do with the venue was simply swapped over to the new date.
Next up was to consult our close family and friends. Getting the thumbs up from them was a big one, and thankfully everyone was happy enough that they could quit their diets for now and tackle it again in the autumn 😊
Third on the list were all of our suppliers. I cannot emphasise how much I was blown away by people’s responses of generosity, support and flexibility. Each and every one of them, bent over backwards to accommodate us and our new date. It was incredible. Of course we had worries about losing deposits, breeching contracts and all sorts, but I can honestly say that not one of the suppliers was in the slightest way difficult – they were a pleasure to deal with and a testament to the amazing people that work in the wedding industry in Ireland.
Within two days we had rescheduled each and every thing got to do with our wedding. And then it hit – oh boy did it hit. I cried for six hours solidly. I know I’m a sap at the best of times, but all of the emotions just swept over me like a wave. I think that it’s important that Brides and Grooms allow themselves to be disappointed and sad. You had worked so hard with your eye on that prize and suddenly it feels like the carpet has been ripped out from under you. It’s incredibly upsetting and throws you off course big time. So, my second piece of advice is to allow yourself to feel the emotions. I am fully aware that there are much, much worse things happening in the world right now. I don’t doubt that this temporary upheaval is absolutely nothing of importance given the real danger that we all face against this deadly virus. Having said that, the loss of your wedding day is one of the most important things in your life right now, so it’s okay to grieve it a little.
Having said all of that, it’s not the end of the world. Really, it’s not. You will get married. You will have the beautiful ceremony. You will have the amazing dress, the stunning bridesmaids, the impeccable décor, the perfect venue…and most importantly, you will be husband and wife, just on a different date. You may not have the flowers you wanted, you may need a wrap or a stole, you may need to re-gig your time plan for the day, but so what!! You will have the most amazing day of your life and isn’t it much more important that all the people that you a-care for in the world are there with you to celebrate and to give you their love than for them not to be there? SO my last piece of advice is to put on your big-girl knickers, deal with it and put your energy int making it an even better day than your original date would have been.
Now, on your ‘original date’ here’s your challenge (if you can)
- make a champagne breakfast
- break out one piece of your wedding attire (e.g. shoes)
- do your hair and make-up
- have a day date with your Fiancée
- dance to your first dance song
- make a special meal and drink all the champagne!!
It’s okay to be a little teary at what could have been, but just think of the excitement of what’s to come…In the words of Tom Walker, Just You and I which Peter and I were supposed to be having our first dance to on 4th May…
This year’s been hard for us no doubt
Let’s raise a glass to a better one
And all the things that we’ve overcome
All bring home to us ’cause
Me and you we can hold this out
Only you understand how I’m feeling
And I know, I can tell you anything
You won’t judge, you’re just listening
‘Cause you’re the best thing that ever happened to me
‘Cause my darling, you and I could take over the world
And one step at a time, just you and I (just you and I)
‘Cause you’re the only one, who brings light just like the sun
One step at a time, just you and I (just you and I)
Covid19 Bride: Aisling
“So unfortunately we have found ourselves in the position of having to postpone our wedding. We were due to get married on the 14th March and I was in the process of dropping Mass booklets back to my home town on the 12th when my fiance called to tell me about the government directive that was just announced.
We were absolutely devastated and still are and I can see this feeling lasting a while longer.
To be honest those next few days were a bit of a blur but the biggest advice that I could give to people would be to act fast. We had to decide on another date fairly quickly with our venue and we went with October. Hopefully this current situation will be long behind us by then. We had to concede that we weren’t going to get absolutely everything that we had originally planned. For us, that was having to have our wedding on a Sunday as opposed to a Saturday. This was hard for me as I had always wanted a Saturday wedding but I think under the current circumstances you have to allow yourself to be a bit more flexible and to change your mindset about some ideas that you may previously have had.
Do a list of all your suppliers and contact them with a few possible dates after contacting the venue. Cross reference and see which one is going to suit the majority of them. Unfortunately we lost out on our church singer but again we acted fast and thankfully have got another great supplier sorted. I know it is tough and at the time the last thing we wanted to do was hop straight back in to planning another date but I am so thankful that we did because the longer you wait, you are leaving yourself more restricted in terms of available dates of venues and suppliers.
It is very easy to feel down about everything and I am not going to pretend like I don’t still have those moments and days but I would advise you to lean on your friends and family. They all want to and are willing to help you. Also remember who you are doing this for, your partner and yourself. You will still have the best day, it just won’t be your original plans and that is okay. I keep reminding myself that nothing in life worth having comes easy and it will definitely all be worth it.
This picture is from our rehearsal dinner. At this point we were seven days out from our wedding and super excited. How quickly everything can change!
Stay safe everyone and we will have some major celebrations to look forward to.
Celebrate Your Original Wedding Date
It’s me, May, back again! I did a post on Instagram asking Covid19 bride to be’s how they will celebrate their original wedding date and here are some of their suggestions:
- Get legally married on our original date and then go for dinner
- Frame your invite with a photo of you both
- Create a playlist of all the songs you had chosen for the day, church, first dance, entrance song etc. get dressed up and have a romantic meal and some bubbly and remind yourself of sample pics/videos of your photographer/videographer and why you chose them in the first place and get all excited!
- Make a memory box , put your invitation in and other small items (even receipts for your wedding rings ) and when you celebrate your 25th Wedding Anniversary you can reminisce
- Cook your favourite dinner together
- Dance to your first dance … after some bubbles to toast your love
- A date night in after a lovely stroll
- We are tying the knot just us two, ordering food from a local restaurant eating in our dining room which is now decorated and bonfire in the evening. Postponed wedding will now be a celebration of our love instead of postpone the legal marriage
- Bake a cake and put on your cake topper!!
- Drink wine!
I really hope you got something out of this blogpost from my Covid19 Bride to be’s!
Thank you so so so much for all the brides who shared their stories – I really hope you are part of my monthly wedding blogs when you big day comes! You all deserve the most special and wonderful days! Best of luck with the rest of your planning!
If you have any tips of your own be sure to post them below
Stay safe everyone